Story Title: Rule Number One
By: Kelly Bender
An Futuristic Male knows that his wife has been cheating on him. He decides to do something about it after watching an infomercial about robots that can “take care of any problem you have no matter how big or messy”.
The male finds out the hard way about Asimov’s Robot rules, when the robot he just purchased can’t kill his wife and only cleans.
The Male after some frustration realizes that this is a dirty job he has to do himself.
Luckily for him he just purchased a Robot who can remove all the evidence and the body.
Rule Number One Kelly Bender Page 01
Page 01 (5 Panels)
Male is sitting on an futuristic couch eating grubs out of a bowl, he is eating snacks while watching “TV” (we can’t see the “TV” yet), it all looks like our stuff just way more modern and futuristic.
We can see what the Male is watching, it is a black table with a hologram image coming up from the table (imagine that they are Barbie and Ken sized dolls but they are actually moving and doing everything that they would on a TV, they are NOT Barbie dolls they are in fact Robots playing a game of FOOTBALL/Soccer against each other, ROBOT VS ROBOT have them in different colors.
Flash of light off to the side near the door.
We can see the female (the wife) standing there, she has just “beamed” home. She is wearing a “futuristic” dress, jewels and a “purse” futuristic style don’t care let your artistic freedom take you where you want to go.
Hi honey, how’s your game?
Man with a mouth full of grubs, turns to her and says
Good... munch... how was your “art” show? Munch... crunch...
Rule Number One Kelly Bender Page 02
Page 02 (5 Panels)
The woman turns to walk away and we can see her dress is tucked into her panties.
It was fine, we had a guided tour by the Museum’s curator, who told us about early 21st Century art.
It was quite fascinating.
Man turns back to his game and he starts chomping on the grubs harder, they are dripping down his chin. We can see him chewing them.
Chomp... I’m sure it was very interesting... munch...
So interesting that you got panties twisted (speaking to himself)
The man is looking back at the “TV” now. It is a commercial. We can see an alien selling Robots. We can see 5 types of robots beside him.
Do you have a big problem you needed taken care of?
Then do I have the solution for you. The Robot X to XIV.
These bad boys are tough enough to take care of any mess you might have no matter how big.
Call today for today delivery.
We can see the male, he is looking around (head left and head right) he is wondering where his wife is.
We can see the man talking on an futuristic type of phone.
Um.. hi I have a problem I need taken care of.
We’ll I don’t know which one I need.
Which one can take care of the biggest problem?
Ok, then I need that one.
Rule Number One Kelly Bender Page 03
Page 03 (6 Panels)
Man is eating his grubs, back to watching “football”
Flash of white light near the door.
We can see the biggest robot from the commercial standing there beside the door.
The male stands up with grub juice on his face.
Crunch... um.. yes, yes you will do. Munch.
The male is standing directly in front of the robot.
So, I have problem I need taken care of.
How do we go about taking care of it?
Squark... your orders are mine to obey... spurke...
The male smiles widely. We can see grubs pieces stuck in his teeth, and grub juice around his mouth and on his chin.
Rule Number One Kelly Bender Page 04
Page 04 (7 Panels)
Male is standing in front of the robot talking to him. Alien Male has grub juice on his face.
This problem I need you to solve, I have to warn you it will be messy.
Klurp... cleaning up messes are my specialty... sloop
I...um... want... um...
We can see the Male looking around, he is wondering if his wife can hear him. Grub juice still on his face.
Male is back looking at the Robot. Grub juice still on his face.
I... um.. I want you to “take care” of my wife.
Do you know what I mean?
Blurp... I think I do... ploop.... I can make her dinner... tidy her room... clank...
I mean “take care” of her.
Um... Kill her.
We are now looking only at the robot. He is holding an instructions book and is going to give to the male.
Vrook... Rule number one states... clook... no harm human... wakko...
No harm... hoopa.... no harm to come...
The Male has the rule book. And is reading it.
Oh... for Xylock’s sake.
The man said you can take care of any messy big jobs, what kind of messy jobs can you take care of for me then?
We are looking behind the Male as the robot takes his robot hands to the Males face.
We can now see the Males face he is not impressed but all the grub juice has been vacuumed from his face.
Rule Number One Kelly Bender Page 05
Page 05 ( Panels)
The Male is mad looking, he is talking to the Robot.
So let me get this straight.
You can’t do anything to my wife and all you can really do is “clean” up things?
Roozy... take care of problems... floopy... clean up messes.... quarkie...
Wait right here.
DO NOT MOVE!
Male walks away in the direction of his wife.
We are looking at the robot. And can see the hallway
Male is walking past the robot towards the couch, he is sweating.
There is a mess in the bedroom, go clean everything up. Don’t leave a trace of anything left in that room.
Gluup... as you wish... hoopa....
We can see the Male sitting down at the couch.
We can see the Male still sitting down on the couch. In the background we can see the Robot carrying a large garbage bag slung over his shoulder. The dead wife is in there.
Fluudo... just taking out the trash master... quark...